Happiness is an amazing feeling. We know it. It lights up our pleasure centers and just feels good to be happy. Who doesn’t want to be happy? Right? Well, more than you might think. Happiness is scary, amongst other things. Once we overcome the hard parts about finding joy, there’s one more thing we might not realize. Happiness can be a dangerous thing.
Many of these posts are here to give advice. There are nice little, bulleted lists, quotes from Buzz, pictures that tie in, and a variety of different suggestions. This won’t be along those lines. Instead, it’s going to be abstract but still with the intention of guiding you little buggies away from a negative, harmful life.
Let’s begin by looking at happiness and why we might be running from it.
This is us, deciding to be happy and rising above a world filled with sadness. Well, that is when we finally decide to choose and pursue happiness. This is a really hard choice that doesn’t jump out and present itself like a deer in front of a car. It’s subtle and it takes shining a spotlight on it to find it.
First of all, happiness is a choice (in most situations). I poo-pooed this idea for a long time. I’ve struggled with depression and thought that my situation, problems, stressors, and pains meant that I could not be happy. The reality was a little off. Sure, it’s hard. And I mean hard. Finding happiness and the silver lining all the time is exhausting. It’s so much easier to submit to the weight of the burdens we carry, the sadness around us.
It’s hard to be happy sometimes. But it’s worth the struggling, the fighting, the fatigue from telling those bad things, “no”.
So that’s problem one. Tied into it is problem number two: not wanting to change. Changing is hard! Not many actually enjoy change. We may be good at adapting. We may be amazing at handling it. But we more often than not dislike change.
Finding happiness is the same deal. If we are very used to living in sadness, self-pity, and anger then finding and staying happy is a big change. Which means *drumroll* work. And work is hard, as we’ve just gone over.
As well, once we find happiness, we might not trust it. It might feel wrong to us. If our brain isn’t used to patterns of happiness or is used to things always going wrong, then when we have something go right we won’t trust it. This is a very real problem that is very hard to overcome.
Finally, (I know there are more, but these are just the basics) we might not want to be happy. We might not want it. For whatever reason, whether it’s because we think we don’t deserve it or we think there’s a purpose to our sadness, we don’t want it.
Anyway, that’s just why someone might run away from it. It might not help you, might not be you, but maybe it’ll help you understand why someone else might stay in their misery.
BUT people do work through it and they do find happiness. However, there’s one tiny little thing that people overlook when finding their happiness.
Do not put your happiness in someone else.
DO NOT put your happiness in someone else.
Do not put your happiness in someone else.
How’s that for glaring, bright red text? Getting the message?
I’m serious about this. Please, please, PLEASE do not put your happiness in someone else.
It is okay to be happy with someone else. It’s not as okay to be happy solely because of someone else. If one person or several people are your single source of happiness, please rethink this before something happens. YOU should be your source of happiness.
Things happen. People die, people leave, people do their own things, people are unpredictable. So if you put your happiness in someone else, it will be ripped away from you when you are counting on it. It’s like throwing something at a fan that’s off and expecting it to stay there even when the fan is on.
Find your happiness within yourself.
Well, honestly, this one is up to you. I cannot tell you how to find your own personal happiness. If I did, it’d be cheating. This is one of those things where the journey is more important than the destination.
I can tell you this: Experiment with things. Try different exercises, read new books, write things, research a topic online, read a newspaper, make faces at yourself in the mirror and laugh. But try things. Let yourself think. Let yourself cry and scream. Let yourself be alive.
Finding happiness in yourself is vital because you carry it wherever you go. If your foundation is personal acceptance, self-love, and inner happiness then it takes more for the world to disrupt you. Find your inner happiness and it can’t be disturbed in the same way as a happiness founded in someone else, the world, or the circumstances around you.