Well, first of all, deal with it. Boy does that sound awful. But really, the first thing you have to do is deal with it.
Dealing with it means a couple things and it’s easier when you know what those things are. Otherwise, you won’t know you’re doing them. You won’t know they’re holding you back.
The first thing, no particular order here, is to accept that yes, life isn’t fair and whining won’t change it. Not at all. You can kick, scream, and moan to anyone with ear but that doesn’t change a thing. Actually, it makes it worse. Since you are completely focused on the situation, not working on it, nothing is changing so you feel absolutely awful.
So make yourself feel a teensy tiny bit better and accept it. Just accept that life is unfair.
Second thing, do you.
This is hard. Much harder than it sounds actually. This means do your very best not to dwell on it, relax as much as you can, and keep up with your daily life. Contrary to popular belief, you can control what you think about, what goes on in your head. Of course only so much, hence the “do your best“. Make a concerted effort to keep going to work or school, doing your normal routines and breathing.
Finally, face the music. Whatever has happened has happened. No use denying it. No use fighting it. No use doing anything other than facing that yes, this has happened. You can change your future but events in the past are there forever. A little different than accepting, this requires a determined face and feet planted, ready to stand strong in the decision or decisions you will ultimately make.
So you’ve done all that. Now what?
Well doesn’t this seem simple?
Ha ha. Wrong. But it helps so much! I encourage you to smile, smile, and smile again. You don’t have to be happy, it doesn’t have to feel right, and you don’t have to be experiencing something great. I smile during my yoga workouts and my running when it gets hard. And it really helps me. Several studies have shown that yes, smiling will actually help you.
2. Challenge Yourself
This is part of why I do inversions. Going upside-down on my head or hands or forearms is scary because I could fall. I have fallen. I’m sure I’ll fall again. But when I conquer that, I feel amazing. For a little bit, the things in my life that scare me don’t because I have a concrete fear to focus on for awhile.
And besides, we don’t challenge ourselves enough.
3. Open Your Eyes
Most of us are ignoring something in a problem. Sometimes a small thing, sometimes a very key part. But often, we are ignoring something because it will hurt us. The thing with this is that it will help you too. You may never ever get through a problem without looking at everything. Open your eyes to the whole problem, as much as you can see of it at least.
4. Keep Going
Once you open your eyes, it will be hard to keep pushing through the problem. Pain, sadness, and any other feeling will be there right at your doorstep because now you have seen it all. This is where the most important thing comes in.
It’ll be hard, I know. But because you push through you will be so much strong. So much more capable of existing. I always think of infants who experience so much pain in their first months, digestion, clothing, shots, etc. They overcome and grow stronger but as adults we just aren’t as used to having to push ourselves to keep going and overcome. It is harder.
This is a quick one but it comes down to one thing and only one thing:
When life deals you a bad hand, you accept it and go again because you know what? Life has a whole deck of cards just for you.