Mental Health Monday, Motivation

I’m Not Strong Enough

Here’s some word vomit:

I’m not strong enough to face my battles. I’m not strong enough to conquer them. I’m not strong enough to stand on my own two feet and push through the headwind of my struggles. I’ll fall to my back with an open, vulnerable belly. I’ll fail if I fight.

I’m not strong enough to bleed for a cause, die for a loved one. I’m not strong enough to take a stand. I’m not strong enough to yell my beliefs from the rooftops. I’m not strong enough to defend my passions. I give up and watch it all crumble in my hands. I’ll disappoint my passions if I try harder.

I’m not strong enough to believe in myself. I’m not strong enough to run long distances. I’m not strong enough to do inversions. I’m not strong enough to pass my next test. I’m not strong enough to succeed at anything. I’m too weak to taste success.

I’m not good enough (for a promotion). I’m not pretty enough (to be loved). I’m not strong enough (to do what I love). I’m not talented enough (to reach my dreams). I’m not enough.


How does reading that make you feel? Please, think about it. Read it again. How does that unedited word vomit make you feel about yourself, about me? Do you pity me? Do you feel bad that I may have felt this way (after all, writers pull from their well)? Are you shaking your head because you know none of this is true?

Does this relate to you? Does it strike a chord in you that makes acid crawl up your throat? Or have you checked out because this isn’t you at all? Do you hurt? Do you understand the expressed inadequacies? Do you taste the self-hatred, the doubt, the fear? Are you screaming in your head that you are enough or are you looking at the floor because you can’t believe that you are?

Think. What part of you does this set fire to?


pexels-photo-390426.pngBefore I realized that my enlightenment, happiness, and peace were in my own hands, I thought all of these things. I believed in them. I trusted that they were right. Too many sources taught me that this was my truth. Too many voices encouraged me, whether they knew it or not, to believe that I was not enough. I just wasn’t.

It wasn’t until I stood up and shook off their perceptions, their words, and their expectation that I finally heard a voice whisper “You are enough”. That moment was my first moment of clarity. My first moment without the screaming sound in my head that was my self-doubt. It shook me to my core that I might be good enough. That I might be strong enough.

Now, the title here is a bit misleading because I wholeheartedly believe that I am strong enough. For what? For anything. No. This isn’t cocky. This is confidence. I am allowed to believe that my past pains have prepared me for my future. I am allowed to believe that I am equipped to deal with things, good and bad. I am allowed to believe in myself and vocalize that who I am is strong. That does not make me arrogant. That does not mean that I’m asking for trouble. Frankly, that mindset is damning. “Don’t get too big of a head, wouldn’t want God to smite you” is a damning mindset to adopt.

To clarify, there is no target on your back if you love yourself. No God is going to take away your success because you love yourself. No universe is going to change your fate to bring you to your knees. No creator is going to keep you down. Three reasons for this before I get back to the topic at hand. 1. You aren’t important enough. There is a very big universe out there, a very big world and you are one spec of dust. The world owes you no favors and it won’t tear you down. You aren’t high enough on the list, I don’t know what would be. 2. No creator wants their creations to suffer. Unless of course, you are a writer. But realistically, no creator is going to set up their children to suffer and fail. Gee, if that’s the case why are you following organized religion? 3. Don’t let it. If, if, if, IF the world wants to bring you down, flip it off and keep doing you. Why do you have to succumb to what it wants?

Bottom line to that lengthy derailment, you’ll be fine. Happiness is as inevitable in life as sadness.

Back to the topic at hand. I believe msot of us encounter these sort of thoughts sometime in our life and they can kill us. They can destroy happiness, success, anything if you let them. The key is in not giving them that power. The key is in understanding that they are not true.

Let’s break this down.

I’m not strong enough to face my battles. I’m not strong enough to conquer them. I’m not strong enough to stand on my own two feet and push through the headwind of my struggles. I’ll fall to my back with an open, vulnerable belly. I’ll fail if I fight.

Well, you’ve faced your battles your whole life, haven’t you? No, no. Don’t say that someone helped you because at the end of the day you were the one dealing with them. You’ve conquered a lot too. Heartbreak, loss (death, job, friendship), disappointment, discouragement, sadness. What makes you think that you can’t conquer more? You can. You might fail, yes. But you also might succeed. As my high school math teacher used to say, “You don’t know the answer unless you ask”…meaning don’t assume it’s a no! Don’t assume you’ll fail.

I’m not strong enough to bleed for a cause, die for a loved one. I’m not strong enough to take a stand. I’m not strong enough to yell my beliefs from the rooftops. I’m not strong enough to defend my passions. I give up and watch it all crumble in my hands. I’ll disappoint my passions if I try harder.

Right. So, there’s absolutely nothing you would give something up for? You wouldn’t say, go home early because your dog needed to potty? You wouldn’t give someone sobbing your sympathy for running into your car when you really wanted to scream at them? Extreme thinking doesn’t help anyone. Well, I wouldn’t die for anyone so I’m awful. Honestly, when push comes to shove I don’t know many people who would sacrifice their life. There’s a reason those people are heroes on TV and news. Because it’s rare. You don’t have to scream your beliefs from the rooftops, you can whisper them in your actions. I don’t go around shouting that strong, independent, and confident women and men need to be taught how to do this. I just nonchalantly offer myself up as an example to younger kids. I don’t need a rally when I have a very real opportunity in front of me. Believe in yourself and believing in your passion comes naturally. You can’t disappoint what only wants you to be happy.

I’m not strong enough to believe in myself. I’m not strong enough to run long distances. I’m not strong enough to do inversions. I’m not strong enough to pass my next test. I’m not strong enough to succeed at anything. I’m too weak to taste success.

Well, you are what you make yourself out to be. If you don’t think you will, then you won’t. If you imagine yourself falling out of a headstand you will. If you predict failure, it’ll arrive. It’s a mindset. Encourage positive thinking. Believe that you can and you will.

Last one:

I’m not good enough (for a promotion). I’m not pretty enough (to be loved). I’m not strong enough (to do what I love). I’m not talented enough (to reach my dreams). I’m not enough.

Yes, you are. You are enough. You are good enough. You are pretty enough. You are strong enough. You are talented enough. But no matter how many times I say it, you won’t hear it. You have to say it. You have to believe it. Believe it. Believe that you are enough.

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