I touched this on this topic before. In a way, at least. There is a strong positive voice inside of each of us. Whether we admit that or not is our choice. That doesn’t stop it from existing it just stops us from listening. That voice exists to lift us up, strengthen us, and give us the confidence needed to break through every wall that erects itself in front of us. But what happens when we don’t listen to that voice? When we choose to believe that it doesn’t exist?
For starters, we feel awful all the time. We doubt ourselves. We don’t sleep as well. Our mood sours. Over a small bit of time, our stress increases. Agitation becomes normal. Self-doubt roots itself in our brain. We begin to rewire ourselves to predict failure. When enough time passes, we fail. We lose the ability to make decisions, to say “no” to things. We forget what real love feels like. Spoiler alert, real love is what it feels like to honestly love yourself. We no longer feel like we succeed at anything anywhere. We feel hopeless.
And what, all this because we won’t listen to the positive voice in our head? That’s pretty silly, isn’t it? Just listen to that positive voice. Think one positive thing and watch as a cascade of encouragement comes from your mind. It sounds easy, I know. Barring any mental disease, it is easy.
There are a lot of reasons why we don’t let ourselves love ourselves, think positively. Let’s zoom in.
Society seems to think that it’s bad to love yourself. Yeah, yeah I’ve seen all the self-love campaigns just like you but that doesn’t really mean anything if you constantly face people telling you not to be arrogant. Not to love yourself too much. Not to think you’re invincible. Not to gets your hope ups. Not to dream. Not to believe you can do it, no matter what.
Well, guess what. A little bit of invincibility is a good thing. I can do anything if I want to. I am susceptible to everything, I’m not a god. But my mind can do anything it wants to do. I can run 100 miles if I really want to. I need to work day in and day out to get to that goal, but if my mind says I can, then I can. That’s what I mean by invincibility. Trust that your mind will get you there. Know that you can. That’s not cocky, that’s self-confidence.
Society tends to teach us never, ever to do this. And why? Because we will be struck down. Karma will bite us in the butt. God will smite us. We will crumble because we believed in ourselves and our capabilities. WRONG.
That segues into this second, very touchy topic. Religion.
Let me start by saying this, whatever you choose to believe is your own deal. Whatever joy or comfort it gives you, is your own and nothing can take that away. However, religions and religious leaders tend to teach us not to get too happy. That’s the corruption of man. That’s man’s influence on religion. Not necessarily the religion itself. Got it?
Religion teaches us that God wants the best for us, BUT we cannot get too happy. Too invested in ourselves, our improvement. We can’t get too arrogant because we’ll go to Hell. Right?
Loving yourself is not a sin. Not in any form. Let that idea go. Putting yourself first, your safety, your sanity, your mental and physical health, is not a sin. And I’m tired of hearing that it is. Whatever your religion is, if you have one, it’s supposed to heighten your life, better yourself. Not keep you under some god’s thumb, quiet, sad, and unfulfilled. Right? Don’t be afraid to put yourself first in your life because it is your life. You can love yourself. You can let yourself think positively and highly of yourself. That’s okay. No one is going to kill you or smite you or destroy your life because you’re happy. Coincidences do happen. But it’s no act of God if when you think positively you get hurt. Remember that.
This last one is interesting. One of the biggest problems in loving ourselves, believing in ourselves is us. Having positive thoughts is scary. It’s not comfortable for a lot of people because they have lived so long in the dark that light just seems whacked out. Being confident in yourself means doing something very different than normal so it’s understandable that it would feel funny and wrong. But sometimes things feel wrong even though they’re right.
Sometimes, a lot of times, people just want to suffer for the sake of suffering. Sometimes this is based on past relationships, religion, society, struggles, life, anything. But people do look to suffer just to suffer though they may not know it. Try telling yourself “I deserve to be happy”.
Right, so those are just a handful of reasons why we might not let ourselves be happy. None of them are very satisfying to read, are they? Why not? Well, it’s because the blame is always on us. The bottom line is this:
We are not letting ourselves surrender to postivity. Not one bit.
It sure is easier to do the things we know. Positive thinking requires work too. It’s even downright scary for some. The good news is that it’s within your control. If you have negative thoughts on a run, for example, pick a quick phrase like “Don’t give up” or “just get there” to keep you going. I have one (it’s a secret). If you tend to doubt yourself, before you do something, tell yourself you can do it. Believe in yourself. Talk to yourself, out loud or in your head and make a point of praising yourself.
You are good. You are strong. You are capable. No one knows that better than you. You’ve lived this long. You’ve conquered things. Quit bashing yourself. Quit giving in to negativity. Believe in yourself. Don’t throw a pity party. Surrender to positivity.