So we haven’t talked about Buzz the Bee in quite a long time. If you aren’t familiar with the little bee behind this blog, Buzz has his own article. He’s a special little friend. He’s a little buzzing bee that gets in your ear. With him, he brings all the negativity in the world. He’s those nagging thoughts of doubt, worthlessness, and failure that you might not have even put there. Often times his buzzing represents the words of people you know, not even your own voice!
Why do I bring up Buzz now, though?
Well, he hasn’t needed much mention. This blog post, however, focuses on being frazzled. And, let’s face it, no one can frazzle our nerves like Buzz can. In that original post, I mention how Buzz can be a phenomenal motivator. He goes and collects all the yucky things people say, he comes back and puts it in your ear. Now sometimes, that makes us work harder. Sometimes it makes us more confident in our own path, passion, and ability.
But most of the time? It just ruffles our feathers. Sometimes so much that we just can’t get our heads thinking straight anymore.
So let’s take a minute and think about why we get confused by what Buzz the bee brings to us. Long story short, we get hung up on it. Someone takes a jab at us, we pretend it doesn’t bother us, but it stays there. Maybe someone says something to the effect that they don’t believe in us, they don’t approve of us or what we’re doing, or that we need to just grow up and give up at our passions and dreams. It’s hard not to let the pollen that Buzz brings gather in our ears.
This is especially true if the words are coming from people we care about. It gets clogged up in our ears and pollutes our head. The self-doubt that can stem from the doubt of others is enough to turn all the clear directions in our head into signs in another language. Then, we have no idea what to do, where to go, how we were going to go about our week. We can get very confused very quickly.
So what do we do to turn ourselves back around?
Regroup and restart.
First thing we do is stop. We stop the frantic cycle of whatever it is we are doing. Even if this means physically stopping in your tracks and sitting down, we stop.
Second, we assess the situation. We look around at our life, at our chaos, and evaluate why this might be happening. At this point, it’s important not to eliminate the words of someone else. A few nasty words from family might the thing to have set us off into a spiral of chaos. It’s important to comb over our days and interactions.
Third, we regroup. So this is the important part. Once we find the cause of the struggle, we regroup.
This is the hard part that no one wants to do. A lot of the times, everyone is very excited to immediately jump back into their work, their lives, or whatever it is they have taken five seconds away from. Except, not regrouping sets us up for immediate failure. Without gathering ourselves again we are going to fall on our faces within seconds of taking off. Again.
Regrouping isn’t fun. Not at first, at least.
We live in a go, go, go society. This means that when we need to stop, people can take a condescending view on it. They might even take on a condescending tone during a conversation with you. But let me ask you this:
Since when do we heal ourselves for others?
No one in their right mind would say, “I’m not going on chemo because so and so implied it was a bad decision”. They would take the advice of their doctor and follow accordingly. Rightfully so, no one other than your therapist or yourself can tell you what you need to do to heal your mind. Even this blog, it’s advice. It’s not a prescription.
So, since when do we heal ourselves for others? Since never. If we need to take a minute and regroup then we ought to do that regardless of how other people feel. We are doing this for us. For our sanity. For our physical and mental health.
All right, so we’re resigned to regrouping now. But, how can we regroup?
Again, in a go, go, go society there’s not a ton of information readily available through your friends on how to regroup in a healthy way. I’m not saying sitting for a week watching Netflix is unhealthy, but I’m not saying it’s good for you either.
First things first, regrouping means, in part relaxing. We’re going to tackle this conundrum in order. Because, in my opinion, there’s an order.
At the very start of our regrouping journey, we settle and relax. I have a million suggestions, but I’ll only list a few.
An Epsom salt bath. This is detoxifying, good for your skin, and it smells amazing. Turn off all the lights, light some scented or unscented candles, and turn on some music. Close your eyes and relax.
Lay in bed. But don’t just lay there and wallow. Turn on some pretty lights or candles. Put on soft music. Burn some incense. Close your eyes and start noticing how good it feels to be alive.
Go outside. But don’t feel obligated to do anything. You can just sit outside in the sun or the shade. Soak up the outside air, the light, the sounds. Enjoy being for a little bit.
Of course, if you have any relaxation methods that you know work for you. Go for it! Remember, this is just about letting your mind settle and calm.
Next step in the process.
To me, this is extremely important. I know I’ve talked about it before, but the benefits of mindfulness meditation are endless. A quick Google search will show you all the benefits you could reap but for now, it gives the brain a chance to calmly take in the present moment. Now, you don’t have to be rigid with this either. Meditation has a bad reputation. Try restorative yoga. Try mindful meditation yoga. Now with YouTube there are so many free options for us to explore we can find our own flavor.
In fact, I’ve done both a restorative flow that has some energy to it and a meditation practice. Check ’em out if you’re looking for something to help you regroup.
All right, last step. Scheduling.
Now this doesn’t mean we need a planner but it does mean we need paper or a computer. It’s important that going forward we tweak our life to prevent a crash from happening again. This might mean penning in time to journal, take a bath, practice mindful yoga or all of the above.
Bottom line: It’ll take more than one shot, but it’s important we explore ways to relax without have to stop, regroup, and restart.
The end goal? To have mental endurance. Just like with anything, we need to find our pace.